Frustrated by your behaviour?
We often find ourselves confused and frustrated by our own behaviour.
This often sounds something like, "Ugh, what is wrong with me?? Why can't I just...?"
If you find yourself in this situation, here are some things you could ask yourself.
𝗪𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐦 𝐈 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐦𝐞𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐞 𝐚𝐬 𝐚 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧? Do I think it means I'm lazy or unmotivated? Or that I don't want it enough? Do I feel like I am doing something bad or wrong?
𝐆𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞, 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐭/𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐯𝐚𝐧𝐭? Am I doing it because someone told me I should, or that it is supposedly "healthy"? Or have I looked at my whole life and context, how it affects - and is affected by - the other areas of my deep health and decided that this is important to me? Is this a high-leverage behaviour or is there something else I could be focusing my efforts on instead?
𝗪𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐥𝐞𝐠𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝/𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐫𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐛𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐟𝐥𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠? If you assume that there is no part of your brain that would be trying to 'sabotage' you, what could be the real reason you are doing it? What are you genuinely getting from this behaviour? Is there a way to honour this desire/need in some way?
𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐢𝐭 𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐞𝐫, 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐲𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐨𝐫 𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐢𝐝? Can it be more of a dial, instead of an on-or-off switch? Are you being perfectionistic about it? Could it be okay to have more fun and flexibility around it?
Every behaviour is an attempt to solve a problem, and getting curious about our behaviour gets us into a more creative and problem-solving state of mind. This makes us more likely to be able to make a change (if we decide that is what we want to do) than if we just assume that we are ‘lazy’ or ‘making excuses’.
And sometimes we realise that it isn't something that we actually want to change after all, and then we can actually enjoy it and the benefits it brings without the guilt or crappy self-talk.
Which question do you resonate the most with?
