Settling your sunday scaries
It was Sunday evening, and I was FREAKING OUT.
I had checked my schedule for the next day, and had seen that I had a patient booked that I had had a really horrible experience with previously, and another that I knew always cost me A LOT of energy.
I also was completely fully booked and had a lot of new patients on the books - and I just knew how drained I felt when I saw a lot of new patients in one day.
And more importantly, how was it already Sunday evening?? I had definitely not rested enough to feel ready for the week...
As you can imagine, this got me feeling like crap. Anxious, dreading the day ahead and already feeling drained. But this was just my normal weekly - sometimes even daily - routine.
Why didn't they book in with a colleague if they were so unhappy last time?
I don't think I can handle this.
I'm not going to be able to manage all those new patients.
I don't want to go to work tomorrow.
What if I mess up and they find out how incompetent I really am?
What if I have NO idea what is going on with one of the new patients?
What if something goes horribly wrong with my patients?
And my personal favourite...
Ugh, whyyyeeee? I don't wannnaaaa.....
If you're anything like me or my clients, you likely have similar thoughts that run through your mind.
And, of course, these thoughts - and the associated emotions - only make the problem worse, because when we could actually be relaxing and "filling up" for the week ahead we're running in mental circles and feeling exhausted before it even starts.
But the other thing is... they're really only half-truths (if that).
Our brain naturally orientates towards what could go wrong, what we don't know and all the reasons why we're incompetent. This might seem like you're brain is just being an a******, but the brain really only cares about keeping you safe - it doesn't particularly care that you get your precious Sunday chill-time.
So even though we've proven to ourselves day after day, and week after week, that we CAN handle it (if you're reading this, you have a 100% track record for surviving your days)...
...it just wants to make sure that you've considered ALL the ways that you may be at risk and wants to make DOUBLY sure that these risks are blown out of proportion so you're EXTRA careful.
So here's something you can try next time this happens.
Let your brain do its thing and write down allllllllll of the things you're worried about. All The Worst Case Scenarios and All The Things I Can't Handle and All The Ways I Suck.
Look at that list and remind yourself that it makes COMPLETE sense that you'd be feeling anxiety or dread if this is what's going on in your mind.
Tell your brain "I hear you! I won't forget about all these!" (don't try and argue with it. It WILL rebel.)
Turn your brain towards another, more useful task by asking it to come up with some evidence to balance the scales. This can look like...
Has there ever been a day up until this point that I haven't been able to handle?
How do I define "handling" or "coping with" something? How do I know whether I've succeeded?
What are all the things I am prepared for?
What are all the things I do know?
Why would someone want to see a clinician like me?
What part of work do I actually enjoy?
Who will I see tomorrow that I am looking forward to?
What skills do I have?
How have I handled it in the past when I didn't know something or something didn't go as planned?
What could I do at work tomorrow that would make the day just a little easier or more fun?
Try it out this Sunday (or whichever day tends to be your "Sunday Scaries" day) and let me know what you find!
