How flexible are you (cognitively speaking)?

I will never forget the day I matter-of-factly told my coach that I was terrible at my job.

I tried to continue with the story I was telling, but she interrupted me.

"Wait, hold up. Who told you you're bad at your job? Did you get feedback at work that you're bad at your job"

"No, no-one told me that, I just know that I am."

"Based on what?"

Cue the eye roll.

"I just know, okay??"

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But the thing was, I'd never even thought to question it.

I assumed that if I was good at what I do, I would have felt confident and capable.

I also assumed that it was reasonable to compare myself to some ideal version of a clinician I had in my mind (you know, the one that I would probably be after 30 years in practice).

And my behaviour was dictated by these unquestioned assumptions.

I didn't prioritise rest and recovery because I didn't feel like I'd "earned" it.

I took endless courses and learned as much as I could in my spare time after work.

I was apologetic and self-deprecating about my skills and expertise.

I probably don't need to tell you that none of this helped me feel any better. And despite the increase in skills, knowledge and experience, I still felt anxious and incompetent.

So what did help?

Well for one, realising that this belief I held was just that - a belief. That even though it felt true, it didn't mean that it was.

I then started to explore this belief, where it may have come from and where else it showed up in my life.

I also started asking myself, What else could be true?

Could it be true that I can both enjoy where I'm at now and always be developing and learning?

Could it be true that I can access feeling confident & competent now, right where I am?

Could it be true that my capabilities are appropriate for the stage I'm at in my career?

Could it be true that rest & recovery are necessary to actually be a good clinician, and not a reward for when I feel like I've "arrived"?

Could it be true that I have beliefs about myself that don't reflect my actual capabilities?

Could it also be true that someone else who practices exactly as I do feel very confident & capable?

Even though I didn't know it at the time, I was learning to practice cognitive flexibility.

I started to access an entirely different perspective on myself as a clinician, and not only felt so much more calm and confident but I started to honour my own health and recovery in the journey to becoming the healthcare provider I wanted to be.

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Cognitive flexibility refers to our ability to think differently about situations, and come up with different responses as required.

This doesn't mean that you just try and "fix" everything by just changing the way you think about it.

What it does mean is that you can look at your thoughts more objectively and get curious about them, rather than just assuming that they reflect reality.

That you learn to see things from different perspectives and be less rigid in your thinking.

That you recognise that far more things are within your control or influence than you may previously have thought.

And that you can learn the skill of being creative and flexible in your problem-solving.

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The key practice to start growing your cognitive flexibility is self-distancing.

You can do this by getting your thoughts out of your head and onto a piece of paper. Look at them with curiosity, notice the patterns and ask yourself,

What else might be true?